Lesson’s from Early Marriage: The Bath Mat

***Update: I thought Bath Mat was two words when I wrote this in Word. However, it wanted me to make it one word and even had synonyms: rug, mat, etc! I have now changed it back to two. Stupid MS Word. Thanks for your grace! ****

I have been in a reflective mood lately thinking on married life and what I have learned in my 1.5 years of wifehood. One of the first lessons was that to two people, the word “bath mat” can have very different meanings. I became aware of this fact the first week of living with Andrew. It was an exciting time. We had just come back from our honeymoon in Jamaica slightly tanned. Slightly tan might be an overstatement, because that week there was a hurricane on the neighboring island, and needless to say, the sun was not out much. It didn’t matter though, Andrew is very fair and I have grown out of my obsession with having the perfect bronze glow. I still like to have a tan, don’t get me wrong, but the consequences that come with it; wrinkles, skin cancer, wrinkles are enough to make me slather on SPF 45 anytime we venture outdoors. Anyway I digress….

So it was our first week home and our first week to live together (besides on our honeymoon, but that is not real life). It was wonderful to be together all the time. We got to wake up in the same place, have the same address, and not leave each other at night. We also got to share a bathroom. Now let me explain for those of you not familiar with our master bedroom/bath. The house was built in 1960 during a time where apparently the Jon was a place to be close to your spouse. There is one small sink/vanity a toilet, and shower all in a 5X7 foot room. I am guessing on the dimensions…just take my word for it. Perhaps that design didn’t work out so well and why you see much larger master bathrooms today with two sinks, lots of drawers and towel racks etc. I am not complaining. We are truly blessed with and love our home, even the bathroom. It has built character and taught us lessons about who we are and where we come from.

Which brings me to the incident at hand: One of these first mornings Andrew took his shower first. It is our usual custom that I shower first since it takes me more time to get ready, but this particular morning was an exception. I heard the water stop and gave him a few minutes to towel off before I made my entrance. Again, it is a small room not really made for two. When I felt ready to take my shower I entered the bathroom still wearing my PJs and socks. Andrew was now at the sink brushing his teeth or shaving. To my utter discomfort, as soon as I stepped foot onto the bathroom tile, my socks filled with cold water. I looked down and noticed the entire bathroom was covered in a shallow puddle. How could this happen I thought…do we have a leak somewhere? Then I noticed the bath mat next to my soaked foot was also completely saturated. The rest went something like this:

Me: Eww…why is the floor all wet? (begin removing sock)

Andrew: I don’t know…I just got out of the shower it is always a little wet

Me: Seriously? Babe there is a huge puddle here. Did you not towel off in the shower before getting out?

Andrew: What? No…that is what a bath mat is for

Me: You mean you don’t towel off first?

Andrew: No…I get out, drip on the mat and then I like to put the towel around me without “toweling”. I prefer to air dry.

Me: That is so weird and not what a bath mat is for. A bath mat is to keep your feet warm after you step out of the tub after drying off as much as possible with a towel. Or from slipping, but a towel is for soaking up water not the bath mat. Can’t you see my feet are drenched here?

Andrew: Laughing…it is for dripping but whatever.

We agreed to disagree. It is a lighthearted example but a lesson for me that Andrew is not always going to see things how I see them or do things like I do them. He can’t meet every expectation. Not having expectations is something I will always likely struggle with. However, this situation at least made me aware of it, which was a good lesson to learn in the first week of marriage.

Nathalie